I'm not going to talk about politics in this post. The only thing I'll say about that is I learned that it brings out the worst in people. Can't we just agree to disagree? We should love one another and respect one another's opinions if we don't agree with them. Peace an' blessins, peace an' blessins.
Okay, that's all I'm saying about that.
Anyways, we are in Temple right now. I have an appointment at 8:30 tomorrow morning with the neurologist at Scott and White. We went back to the disease specialist this morning to get the blood tests back and everything looked normal and all the tests for infections came back negative. So she believes that this is a neurological problem, nothing disease related. She was very happy that we have an appointment at S&W and that we got in so quickly. I really truly believe that we are in the right spot. However, I'm completely terrified. We don't know what to expect, how long we're gonna be here, or if we'll even get answers! My biggest issue is that I'm constantly suffering with this pain throughout my entire body, and I have to push through each day and try my hardest to act like nothing is wrong because I hate being the Debbie-downer... But sometimes I can't hold it in. Sometimes I'm not strong enough to do that. I just need to stop worrying about what other people will say or think. Every day is a constant battle for me. Yes I'm only taking 9 hours, but please don't look at me and think, "Oh she has no room to complain about being tired and whatnot. She's only taking 9 hours." I'm dealing with a lot behind the scenes, a lot that people don't know about, and not just with my health. Being a neurological related issue, it constricts me from doing a lot, not only mentally (like reading, my eyes focusing, writing, or concentrating during class), but also physically (exercising, Intramurals, and even with some of the Welcome Week activities back in August). The constant pain causes me to lose sleep. I'm not exaggerating when I say it's constant. I really mean its 24/7. Sometimes it's better than others, but I've gotten so used to the pain. The past few weeks have been the worst. Not to mention how it has almost taken all of my social skills. I'm kind of awkward sometimes now. It took everything I had to stay enrolled this semester. I've missed out on so much already, and it's definitely not how I always pictured my freshman year of college going. I'm sorry that this is a somewhat depressing post. But I have a lot on my heart right now. I'm worn out, I'm scared, but I AM sure in that I know God will take care of me and has been by my side through this whole year. I'm just ready for answers, treatment, and being pain free.
The Lesson: No matter what, God has a plan for you and your situation. He will see you through to the end and keep you strong! (1 Corinthians 1:8). You just have to believe that. God sent us here for a reason and I wholeheartedly believe that.
Oh, and if they can't figure it out, we may have to visit Dr House. I feel like he could figure it out in a heart beat.
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